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With his filthy hairy fingers and clawlike nails, a little troll keeps my eyes open. He blows on my eyeballs, and his breath is a blend of sewage and boiled cabbage with a note of paint stripper. When I try to lower my lids for respite, I discover the troll has glued tiny shards of glass on their backside, so I give it up again. I look like a hairless albino rabbit that has been on a three-day bender without any of the upsides of such an experience. There is no rain in the forecast for the next ten days.

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