Drive-By Defecation


An introverted bison bull called Hugo had taken up turd-bombing others when feeling stressed. Whenever something hit him sideways, he would go take a dump on someone’s doorstep and then walk away before they could open. But one day when Hugo had gotten some especially bad news and therefore was under immense peristaltic pressure, his friend Bobbi, a retired Capuchin monkey, threw her front door open before he could leave and said:

“Hugo, either you own your s#!$ or you let me help you or both, but this drive-by defecation has got to stop!”