That feeling, when I am in a funk or ditch somewhere, and I know the only way to get out is to reach out, open up, call for help, but I am so far into it that I cannot, because it is just too hard, too risky, to show that to anyone and my only working coping mechanism is to not expose myself to being hurt, but keep my head down and go in downward circles until I cannot even remember how to speak or listen or look someone in the eye. That is what I am talking about.