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Hailey, a semi-professional panda, had always preferred sparkling to still, but ever since her neighbor across the hall, a walrus called Benedict who performed in drag at the community center every other Tuesday under the name of Eggs, had shattered everything Hailey thought she knew about herself. The comment itself had been entirely innocent and showed just how much Benedict had researched Hailey’s background. It was said as a response to Hailey being confused about the concept of seafood in general and kippers in particular.

“One can see,” the walrus had said, “that you’re from a state-run breeding program.”

Music pairing: Who Are You? by The Who


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