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“So you can probably understand why I don’t date salamanders anymore,” said Jerry, a sun bear with a combined day spa and plumbing business who at this moment was massaging the scalp of a shy and single Galapagos tortoise called Susan who, to celebrate her 125th birthday, had presented herself with a nifty you-don’t-have-to-marry-just-come-to-Jerry gift card. Jerry always tried to use stories from his own life to get the clients to open up and relax, but he sometimes forgot that not everyone took the same liking to amphibians with sizable French stamp collections and three-wheeled recreational vehicles as he.

Music pairing: Daily Duppy (Cus I Can) by Idris Elba, GRM Daily

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