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A chicken named Magdalena was cooking dinner in the summer. She liked to keep it early because having to eat in front of the TV took some of the fun out of Jeopardy. She couldn’t hear herself think with all that pecking on the carpet. Instead, she made herself a salad out of romaine lettuce, tomatoes, basil, and pine nuts. Then she sprinkled it with salt, pepper, and her secret ingredient, victimhood. Over time Magdalena had found it went with everything; cereal, radishes, blue cheese, red wine, wedding dresses, performance reviews, and, of course, long walks on the beach.

Music pairing: Sorry by Justin Bieber

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