N’teit le Maent--died on her seventh birthday when she discovered that being the reason for the party didn’t equate to winning the cupcake bingo. This revelation filled N’teit with such disbelief and rage that her body could not contain it. Her parents donated N’teit’s remains to medical research. Years later, that led to a breakthrough paper on soda as a cuteness-inhibitor. N’teit’s life also inspired the often-cited study of how parent exhaustion is inversely correlated with the number of siblings in maternal and paternal bloodlines. Thus N’teit’s all too short and obnoxious existence came to serve a purpose.