Stubborn Ashell has continually refused to die. Now at age 98, Ms. Ashell shows no sign of bending in anyone’s direction because, as she claims with fervor, we are all sissies, snowflakes, and damn liberals. In addition to her own survival, Ms. Ashell has also kept the beliefs alive that the earth is flat, Jesus was white, and bangs are becoming. In an ongoing effort to put Ms. Ashell’s obstinate ways to good use, she has been tasked with tucking in temper-tantrumming toddlers at the local preschool. Ms. Ashell informs us she leaves no one and nothing behind since we don’t deserve it.
Music pairing: Deserve You by Justin Bieber